it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
