Don't you send me to vm
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
we're making bets on your personal life
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
