We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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