You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Randomize
