gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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