I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
