dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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