Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
