Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
