glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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