so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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