Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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