i would punch a child for taco bell
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
