He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Randomize
