just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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