Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
