where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
