thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
