Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Randomize
