Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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