i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Randomize
