The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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