It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
