Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
