2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
So drunk its hurt
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
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