weddingsv make me drug and hornr
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
