dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I think people are normalizing furries
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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