i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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