loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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