we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
