he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
