We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
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