i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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