You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
