So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
