im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
The power of my boobs compel you
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
