You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
