Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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