I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
