She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
