Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I use my feet as sexual weapons
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
