I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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