there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
