Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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