butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
