You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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