these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
