I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Randomize
