mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
