Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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